MOVING

I have moved.

Everything you could possibly want from me, and everything you've already seen, can be found here:

http://iamadrainonsociety.wordpress.com

Mamma Mia!

3/5 I mean, it's not good, exactly, is it?

I'm not a one to be especially deterred by social stigma. If anything, I'm more inclined to refuse to follow certain patterns out of sheer bloody mindedness. That being the case, I usually avoid popular films until well after the hype has worn away; I only recently got round to watching Slumdog Millionaire and concluded that the hype was justified after all.

Tiny Furniture

4/5 Not ground-breaking, but funny, charming and not pretentious

Depending on your patience for low-budget films, Tiny Furniture will watch either as a contemporary gem or a pretentious mess. I have read arguments as to the latter and must admit I have not had much patience for them; it seems to me a disease of the decade to ascribe allegations of pretension to any fiction that tries any technique differing from the standard norm.

Triview: Life on Mars (UK) vs Ashes to Ashes

Ashes to Ashes was in trouble the moment the title was first conceived. Like Life on Mars (the UK version), Ashes to Ashes takes its name from a David Bowie song released in the exact year that the series is set and provides the backdrop for that time period. I don’t know that David Bowie was still such a strong influence in the 80s that one of his songs had to be used again, but this choice is indicative of everything that follows in Ashes to Ashes; whereas Life on Mars made sense in context as the title for a police drama about a detective of the 21^st century inexplicably sent back in time to 1973 following a near fatal accident (“It’s like I’ve landed on a different planet”), Ashes to Ashes does not relate to any of this, despite being the exact same story all over again in 1981 with the same cast of hard-hitting, change averse detectives fightin’ crime, retro style.

Blarticle: The Mysteries of Online Dating

It’s a funny old thing, this dating malarkey. It was funny when it was physical, with all that holding hands and feeling awkward and trying to figure out if the whole experience is worth repeating; and it’s even funnier now that all that stuff has been taken out of it and replaced with tap tap tapping on the keyboard.

I’ve nothing against cyber dating. It’s as good a way as any to get to know someone, although it’s worth being aware that people are quite different online to real life – it’s not that they aren’t being themselves, it’s just that they’re being a different version of themselves and the transition can be difficult to get used to. No, the really odd things are dating sites and dating profiles.

Blarticle: Stranger than Fiction?

It would be foolish and downright unreasonable of me to insist on total reality when watching a film. One of the things I enjoy about fiction is its ability to be, you know, not real. One of my biggest frustrations is when people read my fiction and automatically assume it’s a Personal Story – I can’t help but feel a little insulted by the implication that I lack the imagination to make something up off the top of my head.

Smarticle: Media Snobbery

A great many things drive me batty. The way people use expressions that we’ve all heard a million times before as if they themselves have just thought them up; how some people use the same 60 words to express themselves and then look at you like you’re the weird one for using a word they’ve never heard before; the general overuse (and drastic misuse) of words like “pretentious” and “ironic”… But more than all of that, there’s media snobbery.

Smarticle: Asexuality and Virginity

The social importance of virginity has long been a subject of some confusion for me. It remains the only term in our everyday language to describe a person who has not yet performed an act; there is no term for someone who has never drunk alcohol, no term for one who has never smoked a cigarette. Sex is so socially important, that the concept of one who has not partaken of it is met with surprise, intrigue and sometimes scorn or pity.

In history, a "virtuous" or chaste woman was considered to be a higher ranking citizen than a ruined woman or someone who had committed the sin of having (and presumably enjoying) sex outside of marriage. But even then, the concept of an "old maid" was met with pity and marginal disgust, as it suggested that the woman was so undesirable, no man wanted to touch her (we now know, of course, that just because you aren't fucking men, doesn't mean you aren't fucking).

These days, the pressure is on both men and women to have sex as soon as possible. Here in the UK, our sex education is woefully lacking and everything we learn about sex comes from our alcohol-ridden peers - then we wonder why he have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe.

Blarticle: Meme-bombing

There’s a new kind of graffiti art on the block, people. By ‘the block’, of course I mean the giant void of cyberspace in which we are all linked and more personally involved than we are with the elderly neighbours that have been living across the street for thirty years. With the internet as the No 1. port of call for those who feel in their hearts that they must procrastinate, it was inevitable that the more subversive types of humour would slowly start to creep out of the screen and into the third dimension, taking the form of little signs and quips in all manner of inappropriate places and contexts - the best of which is, of course, the world of work.

Triview: Mario & Luigi Franchise (GBA & DS)

God, I love Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. I’ve played it so many times, I keep forgetting that video games make me as bad tempered as a goat and as apt to spout obscenities as a small electronic box with buttons that swear when you press them, designed for 12 year old boys and forbidden to anyone under the age of 16.

Triview: Phonex Wright Franchise (DS)

Phonex Wright is not a game series it’s easy to find fans for. I’ve got two brothers, one of whom hates slow paced games with lots of dialogue and the other is so lazy he won’t even take a game suggestion from me because that would involve borrowing a DS and putting some time aside to play it. It truly is a mystery. Anyone would think I was asking him to dig me a military war bunker lined with currency that’s been out of circulation for thirty years.

Blarticle: The Best Type of Story

Sci-fi buffs of the world, speak out against prejudice!

Hands up if you like science fiction! Have you all got your hands up? Good, good. Otherwise, I’d have to come and find you in the dead of night and slowly pour my cold, soggy tea dregs onto your peacefully sleeping face. In any case, you’ve heard of Star Wars. The old one with the adventuring and the swashbuckling using laser swords and all that delightful nonsense. That’s science fiction, right?

Wrong. That’s a family classic with elements of spacey stuff. Science fiction is an in-depth exploration of a scientific or socio-economic concept with the use of storytelling and character building.

Blarticle: Baa Baa Multicultural Sheep…

Stop seeing things in black and white

I despise black comedies. No, I don’t mean dark humour – I quite like that. That bit in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta’s character accidently shot someone in the face had me in such hysterics that, had I not been alone, I might now have a reputation for being a bit of a psychopath. No, what I’m referring to is comedy films which work around the entire premise that their characters are black and black people are *gasp* not white people. Particularly irksome are the comparisons, where you’ve got a white guy and you’ve got a black guy and their differences are being ‘explored’ for the amusement of the viewer.

Blarticle: Guilty Pleasures

Could this be the end of normal civilisation?

It’s the same wherever I go and with whomever I’m talking to. They ask what I like: I shrug. I ask what they like: they tell me. I suddenly remember what exactly I actually do like: I tell them. They look at me like I’m a grey-beard loon and shuffle discreetly backwards by several paces.

Triview: Harry Potter

Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed its flaws…

Harry Potter is... No, you're right. I don't need to explain it. You'd have to have been living as a child slave in the basement of some corporate giant to not know about the global sensation of The Potter. So good, that saves me a job.

Blarticle: Anti-Suspence Thrillers

Thrillers are for thrills, not vague irritation

Picture the scene; you are watching a film that has been branded a 'psychological thriller'. You know, then, that whatever the main aggravation for the protagonist, it is going to be something inside their own head. Knowing this, a good director will have tried to integrate a little mystery as to what this mental affliction might be and keeps you guessing. It could be agoraphobia, or claustrophobia. Something is going to tip this character over the edge - the interest lies in what it is, what has caused it and what inevitable tragedies it will cause.

Triview: Pokemon Black

Close, but just falling short of the mark: 4/5

Pokemon.  A franchise you either politely and determinedly ignore, like a yelling homeless man on the London Underground, or one which you follow with an insane glint in your eye and a fire in your heart that may well turn you into that yelling homeless man on the London Underground. I fall into the latter category, I fear. An avid Pokemon fan since the age of eight when I stole my brother's version of Blue and used his Venusaur to destroy a Persian, I am hooked and lost to the world.

Triview: Batman Returns

Enjoyable, but not the best: 3/5

Even if you hadn’t seen his name in the opening credits, you would soon be left in little doubt as to the identity of this film’s director; Tim Burton’s sequel to the 1989 Batman (also directed by Burton) is as distinctively surreal as ever, with his unique brand of dark humour running through it from start to finish.